Like Bees To Honey by Caroline Smailes

What happens when you can’t let go of your grief? What happens when it consumes you? When it becomes all that you have left? What do you do? Where do you go? What do you become?

Nina has left her husband Matt and her daughter Molly. She is going back to Malta with her son Christopher to visit her parents one last time. But she is also going home to Malta to confront the ghosts of her past.

Ostracized and cut out of the family when she became pregnant out of wedlock, Nina seeks to mend her relationship with her parents; and if she is lucky, she will be able to mend her heart.

But Nina carries with her more than just hope and grief over her past. Nina carries with her a secret that, should she choose to acknowledge it, will shatter her world even further.

When she arrives in Malta, there is more than just her past waiting for Nina. There are also the dead.

Malta has always been a stomping ground for spirits; and Nina has always been able to see them. A seer from a young age, she has always seen the dead that come to Malta to heal. But now the dead come to her so that Nina can begin her healing.

Can Nina let go of her past to embrace the future? Or will her grief swallow her completely? With help from the most unlikely of beings, Nina might have a chance at redemption…

There is so much I want to say about this novel, but I don’t have the right words to do the novel justice. Not only the novel a beautiful story about love and loss, grief and circumstance, it is also a haunting reminder to live life to the fullest every single day we can.

Smailes, who is no stranger to delving into the darker side of the human psyche, has given us a multi-faced heroine in Nina. Here is someone we can ache for, someone we grow to care about and grow to know over the course of a novel.

You would think that someone obsessed with her grief would grate on your nerves, but that is not the case here. Smailes juggles Nina’s emotions with a deft and subtle grace that leaves the reader not only empathizing with her but sympathising with her as well.

Everyone has done something they regret. Everyone has lost someone they love. Smailes manages to tap into that vein and give us a novel that is filled with real, true emotion captured on the page. Like Bees To Honey is so good that it took my breath away.

I was surprised by how funny the novel was. You would think a novel about the darkness of grief would be hard going, but that’s not so. The novel is full of emotion, yes, but it is such an incredibly human novel. It reminds us of what matters, of the simple things that bring joy. Like Bees To Honey is beauty captured on the page in words.

Like Bees To Honey is also a novel about language. Much like Smailes earlier novels, language plays a big part in Nina’s unfolding story. Nina feels that she has lost her language, that she has lost her home. She tries to find it again in speaking her mother tongue. Maltese is sprinkled through out the novel with handy translations for those who don’t speak it.

The language is almost like the music of the novel. Each time I found a Maltese word, I found myself repeating it, wondering at is shape and it’s sound. Smailes, who is conscious of every word on her page, has placed these words notes, this word music, through out the novel, giving it perfect pace and perfect pitch.

I think the thing that is so delightful about Like Bees To Honey is that everything about it is so completely unexpected. Nothing is as you think it is and the story will not go at all how you think it will. Surprises wait for you, and for Nina, around the turn of every page. I was surprised by Like Bees To Honey constantly and each surprise was a lovely shock to my system.

It’s been such a long time since I’ve been so emotionally affected by a novel. Like Bees To Honey not only touched my heart and my emotions; it touched my spirit.

And it refuses to let go.

Beautiful, funny, moving and haunting, Like Bees To Honey by Caroline Smailes is no mere novel. It is a gorgeous, life changing experience, just waiting to enthral you with its beauty.

Let Like Bees To Honey cast its spell over you. It will haunt you well after the last page is turned.

Black Boxes by Caroline Smailes

Ana Lewis is a woman on the verge of collapse.

When her lover Alex leaves her, Ana begins to fall into a spiral of depression that consumes her from the inside out. Avoiding the world around her, she instead cocoons herself inside of her room, ignoring the world outside of her bedrooms four walls. Inside her black box.

However, this means she is ignoring her two children Pip and Davey. They are both held within their own black box, their own seclusion. Without their mother to look after them, Pip must look after herself and her younger brother and find a way for them to survive in a hostile environment.

Ana, inside her black box, knows none of this. Medicated with sleeping pills and painkillers, she begins to meticulously piece her life with Alex back together in order to find out where she went wrong. She tries to piece together the puzzle that is her life in order to find solace. She must confront the demons of her past if she is to understand what she has become.

Pip must also confront her own demons. She suffers increasingly cruel torment from bullies at school. Ridiculed and shunned, she is made the brunt of jokes, of insults of assault. Not like the rest of the children at school, she is on the outside looking in on the life she wished she had.

When the two black boxes collide, the resulting crash will change their lives forever…

My meager plot description does nothing to capture the true story of Caroline Smailes novel Black Boxes. There is no way that I could come close to even capturing a tenth of the emotion, the power of the words or the beauty of the writing. The book is just too good to sum up in a few short paragraphs.

When I opened Black Boxes, I had no idea what to expect. I knew that the novel would be remarkably different than In Search of Adam, Smailes’ first novel. While both novels are incredibly different, both deal with the darker issues of life: pain, suffering, neglect, abuse, sex, death, secrets, suffering and redemption.

Black Boxes is not an easy read; but its impact reaches further because of this. Caroline does not shy away from the difficult and dark issues of life and I wouldn’t want her to. There is such a vibrancy and truth to her words, to Ana and Pip’s story, that the words themselves seem to live off of the page.

The novel itself is split into three parts. Parts one and three are Ana’s black box. Part two is Pip’s black box, her diary. For me, it was Pip’s voice that had the most impact. The torment she suffers at school and at home made me cringe. But it also made me want to keep her safe, to protect her. It made me want to wrap my arms around her and tell her that everything would be alright. The things that Pip goes through are so awful, so incredibly painful that you can’t help but feel your heart go out to her.

I had the same feelings for Ana. I found it difficult to like Ana at the beginning. She seemed like a horrible mother: she neglected her children and let them suffer, choosing instead to isolate herself from the world. But as I read more of her black box, as she told me more of her story, my heart went out to her too.

Though Alex was cruel to her, Ana loves him. Though he mistreated her, hit her, abused her, degraded her, she still loves him. Ana’s love for Alex is all encompassing and, though he never loved her, she loves him completely. It is her love for him that is tearing her apart, Ana’s love for him that is her sole purpose for living. As she recounts her life, reliving her torment at his hands, she still professes her love for him.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t hate Ana. Having never known love, having never known kindness, she was broken inside. How can you hate someone who loves someone else so completely but does not have enough love for themselves?

As the story unfolded, as more and more secrets were revealed, I was held spellbound by Caroline Smailes’ words. I was held pinned to the page and couldn’t stop reading. Though I knew that the book would end horrible (indeed, there is no other way for this book to end) I had to keep reading. I kept hoping that Ana would find peace, that Pip would be all right.

Though the story is dark, it is beautifully written. Indeed, what struck me most was Smailes’ use of language. Through out the novel, language plays a pivotal role in the development in the story. From the very first page, when we are given a definition of Context and Black Boxes, you know that this will be no ordinary novel.

Through out Ana’s story, she refers again and again to etymology. Not knowing what etymology was, I had to look it up. The dictionary defines etymology as: The derivation of a word, an account of the history of a particular word or element of a word or the study of historical linguistic change especially as manifested in individual words. You know that words have meaning for Ana, that language holds power for her.

Her daughter Pip also uses language. Pip and Davey communicate through sign language, a silent form of communication. Through out the book there are many words that are spelt out in hand symbols that spell out words in sign language. Don’t know sign language? That’s okay. Smailes has provided the complete sign language alphabet on the endpapers. The use of sign language is a pivotal plot point and gives such depth to the story. Though the words spelt in sign language are silent, they have more meaning because of this.

In the end, Black Boxes is without a doubt one of the most heart wrenching, harrowing, shocking novels I have ever read. It is also one of the most beautiful. The writing pulls you in and never lets you go, even after the last page has been read and the black box is closed. The words continue to haunt you well after the story is finished. More than anything, Black Boxes proves that happiness is indeed a state of mind.

Black Boxes is the best novel I have read all year. I laughed, I cried and I cried some more. And came away a changed person. Though Smailes asks a lot of the reader to read Black Boxes, every page, every word is worth it. I know that I will carry Ana, Pip and Davey with me wherever I go now, that they will haunt me. Black Boxes is one of those novels that, once you read it, you will never be the same.

Like Pandora’s box, once you open Black Boxes, it will be hard to close it once more.

The Sonnets by Warwick Collins

Shakespeare has always been one of my favourite writers. And he has always been shrouded in mystery. Not much is known about the Bard but there is much speculation; especially concerning the Sonnets he penned to an unnamed love.

Who was this mysterious youth to whom Shakespeare penned so many sonnets? What was he like and what drove him to write? To create? Though many have speculated, none have been able to accurately capture the spirit of Shakespeare.

Until now.

Warwick Collins, who wrote the incredible novel Gents, returns to historical fiction with a novel titled, aptly, Sonnets. In it, we are treated to an intimate portrayal of an artist and a man.

The year is 1592. The London theatres have closed down due to the threat of plague. William Shakespeare, a playwright by trade, is no longer able to pen his plays. With no way to earn a living, he is forced to once again into the patronage of the Earl of Southampton, one Henry Wriothesley

Wanting to show some measure of gratitude, William Shakespeare begins to construct a series of sonnets addressed to his patron. After showing the sonnet to his patron, the Earl of Southampton gives him consent to continue composing sonnets, with one condition: make no references to any living person and hide all references to him.

After all, these are dangerous times.

Shakespeare agrees and continues to compose more sonnets. Soon, however, the subject of the sonnets changes focus as Shakespeare falls in love with Madam Lucia Florio who is married to another woman.

As they consummate their love, Shakespeare has no idea that he is involving himself in politics that will change his life, and his writing, forever.

The Sonnets is, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful novels I have ever read. The writing is like liquid poetry; indeed it is almost as if you are reading one of Shakespeare’s plays, so involving and captivating is the writing.

From the first page I found myself pulled into a world of love, lust and intrigue and I found myself never wanting to leave. Collins should be heralded for writing so convincingly of the Bards life. It is no easy task to pen a novel with William Shakespeare as the protagonist and pull it off with grace and beauty. Yet Warwick Collins does this with style and aplomb.

What is perhaps most interesting is that Collins adds depth to the already dense sonnets writing by Shakespeare. By interspersing thirty of Shakespeare’s sonnets through out the narrative of the novel, the reader comes away with a sense of what might have inspired the beautiful words.

In the end, The Sonnets is really a study of human nature in one of the most frightful times of history. It is a study of what drives us to love, live and survive and how art and writing can provide a release from even the most horrifying things in life.

The Sonnets is a beautiful, gorgeous novel from beginning to end and I was sad to finish it. I opened the book right away so that I could immerse myself in Shakespeare’s world and Collins’ poetic words. It took me a long time to write this review because I simply could not find the words to convey how beautiful, how truly magnificent it is.

If you haven’t read The Sonnets, read it now. I can’t say it any plainer than that.

The State of Me by Nasim Marie Jafry

When I first started reading The State of Me, I wasn’t sure what to expect. It concerned a disability that I had no knowledge about. Would I enjoy it? Would it be a good read? It turned out to be one of the most emotionally charged, incredible novels I will ever read.

The State of Me is the story of Helen Fleet. In 1983, she begins to develop symptoms that no doctor can explain. Some thing it’s food poisoning, some think its stress or fatigue. Helen knows that something is wrong within her but no one believes her. Bedridden, she gets worse and worse, still trying to fight what is wrong with her body.

Eventually, after many months, she is diagnosed with M.E., a disease that she must live with like a strange bedfellow for approximately the next fifteen years. Her illness affects not only Helen but the relationships with her friends, her family, her boyfriend who has been growing more and more distant. Helen feels as if she is losing herself.

And then she decides to fight back and live her life the best way she can.

Instead of being a depressing, tear filled novel, The State of Me is really about self discovery, about the power friendship, the healing powers of love. It is a beautiful story of one woman’s plight to understand herself, to come to terms with what has happened to her and to live her the best way she knows how.

It is a novel of strength and of courage. Nasim Marie Jafry, who has M.E., should be commended for writing such a powerful, moving book about something that is so near and close to her. It opened my eyes and let me see inside of a disability I knew nothing about.

If you read only a handful of books a year, make sure that one of them is this one.

Disraeli Avenue by Caroline Smailes

Behind closed doors, there are many secrets.

We all have secrets. We hold on to them tightly, even if they burn our hands, knowing that they must never see the light of day. Released into the light, these secrets could heal one life and shatter another.

We will take our secrets to the grave, taking comfort in the fact that no one will hear them, that no one will know them. That no one will know who we really and truly are. This is how things have always been.

In Disraeli Avenue, there are lots of secrets; lots of hidden truths buried like treasure. Some are like soft golden coins, shining in the light and begging to be heard. Some are like rubies with sharp edged teeth, waiting to bite the hand that dips into them and draw blood.

In her new novella, Caroline Smailes returns to Disraeli Avenue, the setting for her amazing debut novel In Search of Adam. During In Search of Adam, we got to know the inhabitants of Disraeli Avenue through the eyes of Jude Williams.

Now, Smailes is giving those inhabitants their own voice. Disraeli Avenue consists of thirty-four vignettes, thirty-four insights into the lives of the people who make up Disraeli Avenue.

Having read and fallen in love with In Search of Adam, I was worried that I might not like Disraeli Avenue. I didn’t think anything could compare to the perfection that Smailes reached with In Search of Adam.

Well, I’m happy to admit I was very wrong indeed. In Search of Adam was fantastic; Disraeli Avenue was so much more than that; it was better.

It’s a hard task to give thirty-four individual people their own distinctive voice. Most seasoned authors struggle with this for years and never manage to create distinctive voices. Thankfully, Smailes achieves this with aplomb.

Told in diary entries, text messages, letters, receipts, invoices and more, Disraeli Avenue is an intimate and revealing look at the people that make up a neighbourhood; the people that live close to one another never really knowing who their neighbours are.

For those of you who have not read In Search of Adam, you can breathe easy: it’s not necessary to have read In Search of Adam to read Disraeli Avenue. But I can guarantee after reading Disraeli Avenue that you’ll want to read In Search of Adam to see where it all began.

Though the subject matter may be grim, covering topics such as death, suicide, sexual abuse, theft, love, friendship, family and more, the novel is incredibly well written and will pull you in. You will need to keep reading to find out whom you will meet next, whose voice you will hear. Whose life you will get to see into, just for a moment. You will not be able to put this book down. Each chapter brings a new voice, just begging to be heard.

I found this to be one of the novella’s strengths. Smailes has created a tapestry of people, a real live neighbourhood that must surely be around the corner. You start to recognize the different people that populate Disraeli Avenue as they appear in other stories, other vignettes. What’s more, you come to know them. To care for them.

Once again, Smailes offers us a study in human nature, a study in what really makes people tick and comes out on top. She isn’t afraid to pull any punches either. There is a vibrancy to her words that leaps off the page and that makes Disraeli Avenue all the more amazing.

I was incredibly moved by this book. I laughed, cried, shouted. I cheered. This book moved me in so many ways, touched so many different emotions. It has been a long time since a book has done that, has reached down into me and pulled at my heart.

I feel I know the people of Disraeli Avenue and I know that they will haunt me for a long time to come.

So come and visit Disraeli Avenue. You may never want to leave.

Confessions of a Chatroom Freak by Mr. Biffo

I must confess that I am a late comer to the idea of chatrooms. When I first stumbled onto the Internet, the idea of chatting to people I didn't know held little to no appeal for me. I didn't understand the thrill that some people got from chatting in Internet chatrooms.

What I didn't know is that most people go into chatrooms to have cybersex or meet up for sex; thus the excitement. It seems I was chatting in all the wrong places. I wasn't surprised at the huge amount of sex chatrooms. After all, the Internet itself has three uses: Porn, Information and Porn. Everything else is just fodder.

I never had the guts to go into sex chatrooms though so I have never really been able to experience what those kind of chats are like. Thankfully, Mr. Biffo has all the guts I don't have and more and has written one of the funniest books of the decade: Confessions of a Chatroom Freak.

Posing as LoopyLisa21f, Biffo entered singles and sex chatrooms and talked to men about the most hilarious, hysterical things, least of all sex. How wonderful is that? And thankfully, Mr. Biffo has preserved all these chats for us! Confessions of a Chatroom Freak contains transcripts of genuine conversations between LoopyLisa21f and many, many men.

That may sound like a very simple premise, but Mr. Biffo takes it to the next level. Not only does LoopyLisa21f talk about sex, she talks about all manner of things including farting, cats, flooding apartments, disciplining children, forehead models, car engines, snogging in cages and more!

If this sounds too good to be true, it isn't! Confessions of a Chatroom Freak is utter glorious madness and I for one couldn’t be happier! It shows you what really goes on in Internet chatrooms if you haven't been brave enough to do it yourself and reveals an underside of men that is usually hidden.

It'll also make you laugh until your sides hurt and tears are running down your face. I have never laughed so hard, ever, while reading a book. I can't describe how incredibly laugh out loud funny this book is, I don't even have the words.

To give you an idea, here's a brief exchange between LoopyLisa21f and one of her would be suitors:




Swanvester1975: are you really Loopy?

LoopyLisa21f: I don't know about that, but I'm certainly quite itchy! My cat has fleas, you see.

Swanvester1975: ok not fun

LoopyLisa21f: I've scratched a hole in my t-shirt already, and I'm practically through to the bone on my ankles. That ins't even a lie!

LoopyLosea21f: What's good for lea-bites-other than rubbing your shines against a flea-ridden cat, that is? Ha. Ha. Ha.

Swanvester1975: vinegar

LoopyLisa21f: Urrrgh! I'm not drinking that!

LoopyLisa21f: I could mix it with some orange squash, I suppose.

Swanvester1975: are you mad!?

LoopyLisa21f: You're the one who told me to drink vinegar. It isn't my idea.

LoopyLisa21f: It might taste better if it has ice cubes in. Hang on.

LoopyLisa21f: I'm going to find out. One moment please.

LoopyLisa21f: …..

Swanvester1975: hello??

LoopyLisa21f: OK! Back now.

LoopyLisa21f: I have to say - That is the most DISGUSTING drink I've ever had.

LoopyLisa21f: I took two big mouthfuls, but most of it came out again - through my nose and bottom.

Swanvester1975: jesus

LoopyLisa21f: That is the most revolting thing I have EVER tastd. Worse even than the time Craig made me eat a bit of mud he'd picked.

LoopyLisa21f: I can really taste the vinegar through the squash and the ice. I thought it would be disguised more than that, but it isn't at all.

Swanvester1975: u off ur trolly. Took your mind off the bites though

LoopyLisa21f: Yes but now I'm thinking about doing some vomiting.

LoopyLisa21f: Do you want some advice?

Swanvester1975: yes

LoopyLisa21f: Don't ever dilute orange squash with vinegar and try to drink it. It's horrible. You see - it will make you want to vomit.



Confessions of a Chatroom Freak is pure, unadulterated lunacy and bedlam and I loved every word. Mr. Biffo has written an excellent case study of the Internet, men and sex and has rolled it all into one hilarious book.

If you need a cure for the Winter Blues, there's no better cure than Confessions of a Chatroom Freak. It'll make you laugh, giggle and snort. But be warned: If laughing like a lunatic in public places is your thing, than read Confessions of a Chatroom Freak.

People will wonder why you're laughing so hard, they'll need to get their own copy! This is seriously great fun and an absolutely amazing book! Get your copy and start laughing today!

My Boyfriend Is A Tawt by Zoe McCarthy

I have dated a lot of men in my life. And most of them have been twats. After each break up, I always promised myself that I would not date that kind of man again, that I would not fall under the spell of the Twat.

The only problem was that I didn’t know how to recognize one. I had no idea that Twats come in all kinds of different shapes and sizes, that there is no real way of preparing yourself, of arming yourself against a Twat.

That is, until now.

Zoe McCarthy, author of the award winning blog My Boyfriend is a Twat, has compiled a book of the same name which is subtitled: A Guide to Recognising, Dealing, and Living with an Utter Twat.

Finally! A book for all of us who have dated Twats, loved Twats, are living with Twats! Something to help all the Twat lovers unite and discover their secrets of annoyance! I opened the book with glee, expecting a very funny, tongue in cheek book about Twatdom.

It includes chapters on The Twat (or how to recognize one), the Twat at Home, The Twat at Play, the Twat at Work so that you can recognize a Twat wherever you go. It even includes a quiz so that you can find out whether or not your current squeeze is a Twat or not; probably one of the most important quizzes you will ever take!

Never did I expect that, as well as being incredibly funny, the book would also be moving, insightful, reflective and deeply personal. Part guide, part memoir, My Boyfriend is a Twat is a very personal and revealing look at what living with a Twat is like and how Zoe handles herself.

I knew from reading her blog that the book would be funny, but I had no idea that the book would be so personal. As I read, I was awed by Zoe's humour, her perseverance and the strength of her character and spirit.

The book isn't just about living with Twats. It's about recognizing that, though the Twat may be stupid sometimes (or all the time) and does an incredibly bizarre thing, that's okay. Because love is where you find it, or where it finds you.

What I love most about this book is that, even though Zoe is using her life as an example, she still has enough courage to laugh about everything. Through most of this book, I was laughing so hard that tears slid down my cheeks.

It's a lot harder to write in a humorous way than most people think and I applaud Zoe for writing such a work. It's one of the funniest, most heart felt, beautiful books I've read in a long time and I know I'll be reading it again.

My Boyfriend is a Twat is really a study of human nature, of what makes Twats tick. It's an intimate look into one woman's life and I applaud her courage for writing it down for us all to enjoy.

If you haven't read it yet, what are you waiting for? Read it now, buy three copies! One for yourself and two for your friends who are dating Twats! You'll be doing them a favour, trust me!